I could have loved you,
but you didn’t see the magnitude of my request.
You were not able to feel the weight
pressed into every word
scribbled, on tear stained paper.
I would have loved you,
if, after careful consideration
you’d told me,
it was too much – I was too much.
You just couldn’t comprehend the change,
not just of lovers, but whole lives too.
Perhaps, being apprehensive, you were scared,
unsure of your feelings, where they lay,
and who with.
I could have loved you
for wanting time to contemplate.
I could have forgiven you,
of being unaware of loaded pressure,
for not sharing the burden
of the ticking bomb I held in the dark.
I would have forgiven you
for not understanding my clumsy plea.
Not seeing through the flimsy charade of subtext
that was so easily dismissed.
I accept this fault as my own
I would have loved you
with your words recanted.
After nights of indecision,
If your voice had only offered emotion
rather than indifference.
I could have loved you.
Even after the painful walk home,
of shame, of sadness, of anger.
Devoid of affection,
But when days and nights pass
into weeks, then months,
and eventually she leaves you
for another man, another baby.
If after all avenues have been scoured,
options weighed up,
and my offer of love is recalled
from the depths of its ashes.
When you want me to love you
and wonder where the fire has gone.
I could have loved you completely
Only the timing was wrong.