humor

Doing it the Deadpool way

After seeing all the celebrations online today, I thought I would add my own silly spin on it. Hope you enjoy and try not to get offended *winks*

 

Its International Womens Day

Lets throw down pans and shout hooray

Instead lets read some Dickinson

Slap someone for their sexist pun

Embrace our strengths and hold our ground

Be like our men folk: laze around

Tell them be thankful on this this day

We don’t demand the Deadpool way.

 

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Image source

Seaman’s Ditty

Sea chantey of eight pieces

A flagon full of rum

Twenty-four old pirates

Huddled in a slum

Yet when the dawn was breaking

And sails began to sing

They raised the Jolly Roger

And plundered everything


How to cure manflu – Part 2

Step one – Assess the patient

If still and quiet,

tucked up in bed

Kneel beside him

Feel his forehead

If snuffling and sneezing

Shivering with sweat

Prepare for the evening

In your kitchenette

Make the soup

(See part 1)

But if you come home

Find your man on the couch

Snuggled in blankets

Being a grouch

When you ask how he feels

He tells you he’s dying

Whimpering and wailing

Wants Vicks rub applying

Now for the decision

This is really  Manflu

Are you wanting to cook

Or consider step two

Step two – Assemble miracle cure

Take two black stockings

Stretched up to thighs

One khol black liner

Apply to eyes

Paint your lips

To ruby red

Balance a nurse cap

On your head

Fasten tight

Your push up bra

Slip on high heels

It’s not that far

Dab self with scent

Pull on lace thong

Zip up nurse dress

You can’t go wrong

Then over patient

You must lean

To show him how

Things could have been

If he were well

Then out the blue

You find he doesn’t

Have manflu