It was the flick of your wrist as we sat,
opposite – leaning towards one another,
streamlined pine nestled between.
A barrier to some – but not us.
It was the slight halt of your step,
your elbow nudging the air:
where my arm was too slow,
to slip, into the crevice of your coat.
It was the look in your eyes,
slowly rolling up (like a pup)
on moving stairs and ramps.
And oh –
how I craved your caress.
It was the downward turn of your lips,
as I uttered my goodbyes.
That lingering hug, tinged with sadness.
Those mumbled words, I never heard.
It was the perplexed face,
harbouring worries of my welfare
whilst hurrying through stations and streets;
the helping hand when I stumbled.
It was the pillowed arm or chest,
that warmed my cheek at night
The blanket of you – surrounding.
Protection from the morning chill
It was the loss of these actions
and more, that instant regret
after proclaiming you were needy.
It was my loss – My need for you.
There was, a certain art to it
The flick of your tongue, lips mouthing words
As you sentenced her to love
One cruel curl of a smirk
A dot of the I, on the notes
That she kept close by
The perfectly measured beat
Of her heart against your breath
While she held hers
Waiting for the whole world to turn.
There was a certain skill, in it all
Giving just enough – yet taking
Taking her life for your own
It’s not that you miss me –
it’s if you miss me while there is still fun to be had.
That’s what really counts.
The twist of a hand, the arc of a spine
The comforting growls of content
Glistening foreheads moistened with fervor
Candles to enhance the scent
Damp skin under nails, a rise of the hips
Teeth biting down on a sheet
A focused anxiety, converted to zeal
And soon the night is complete
You trespass, on the edge of my borders
Tiptoe through the barricades
And hover at the frame
After patting down the dirt
Covering your tracks
In fear of being discovered
I find you, alarmed
A hare, dazed in the headlights
Frozen, but for the consistent twitch
In the distance sirens wail out a warning
The gate gapes wide in the wind
Yet still we persist
In that moment existence is shattered
I welcome the oncoming storm.
It starts with a bang
An echoing boom
which hugs the air
Colours crackling uncontrollably
Thundering whips that shake foundations
Glittering lashings of silver and gold
Stars which cascade against the dark facade
The air thick with smog: no smoke without fire
And so the inferno rages on
We are without warning, untested
No instructions, no safety precautions
We are the unknown
A flame ready to be fuelled
Smothered by damp wood
or given freedom to burn
Neither way holds eternity
Either way –
Fireworks will not last forever
The choice is only to stay: enjoy
Or be left with only sticks and cinders
Forever imagining the unseen
If it were anyone but you,
I’d hold out hope
If it were anyone else,
I’d wait expectantly
Lingerie at the ready,
Lipstick still on
Instead I curl up in badly fitting pyjamas
Secure in the knowledge of your resolution