change

Finding the way

I realise that my latest writing has seemed a little on the darker side so I wanted to bump one up that shows I’m still in a hopeful mood really … mostly 😉

Crossing the threshold

You trespass, on the edge of my borders
Tiptoe through the barricades
And hover at the frame

After patting down the dirt
Covering your tracks
In fear of being discovered

I find you, alarmed
A hare, dazed in the headlights
Frozen, but for the consistent twitch

In the distance sirens wail out a warning
The gate gapes wide in the wind
Yet still we persist

In that moment existence is shattered
I welcome the oncoming storm.

In Shadow of the Sun

Sometimes I am struck by the sheer futility of it all

Crossing out days in the calendar as if they were nothing

Allowing the sands of time to slip away

Watching the rising and setting of the sun

Knowing that in each lost day drowns a moment

An imagined space in fate forfeited, passed over

 

Some days there is anger, a hope that it will soon be over

A growing sadness that encourages me to leave it all

To walk away and seize the moment

But the fear of uncertainty, of being left with nothing

To be naked to elements, left to dry in the sun

These thoughts restrain me, stop me running away

 

Instead I walk a precarious line; he’d rather look away

Never wanting to face that its over

Seeing us as youngsters, playing in the sun

Willing to deny the truth, trying to forget it all

Attempting to believe the agitation is nothing

Not allowing emotion, not for a moment.

 

But it’s true, we are here in this moment

I still haven’t given anything away

Even at this juncture, I offer nothing

Except silent acknowledgement it’s over

I can offer no comfort at all

For I am every evil under the sun

 

I contemplate this in bed, awaiting the rising of the sun

My mind a kinetoscope, replaying every moment

Squeezing life from every last memory, I drink them all

Chasing down fragments, not allowing any to slip away

Nailing down reason, trawling through thoughts over and over

Torturing feelings to confirm there is nothing

 

Nothing more to hold me, no person, no thing

Save the inexplicable guilt of hurting a mothers son

My head so thick and weary, as though harbouring a hangover

Could it be my courage finally gathers momentum?

I should vault the bandwagon straightaway

To hell with my wherewithal

 

Who cares if I have nothing, I’d be open to it all

Then when my life expires, they can talk of this moment

And extol, I didn’t let the sun settle and let myself slip away

Winds of change

Ever get those days when you feel on the very edge of change and you fear somewhere deep inside that something unknown is about to snap and leave you blowing about in the wind. You get that little unsettling feeling in your stomach as it lurches towards the what ifs and the who knows, and the knowledge that you are not in the safe and secure place that you imagined yourself to be in.

(more…)

Crossing the threshold

You trespass, on the edge of my borders
Tiptoe through the barricades
And hover at the frame

After patting down the dirt
Covering your tracks
In fear of being discovered

I find you, alarmed
A hare, dazed in the headlights
Frozen, but for the consistent twitch

In the distance sirens wail out a warning
The gate gapes wide in the wind
Yet still we persist

In that moment existence is shattered
I welcome the oncoming storm.