sillyness

For you…

If it were for you

I would walk on coals

Red hot warning

Blistering soles

I would cross a river

via rope bridge

Stay in a hotel

Without a fridge

For you I would walk

500 miles

Go backwards round

The shopping aisles

I’d run to catch you

In kiss chase

EmbraceΒ you

In a public place

Would tell you my most

Secret thoughts

Show empathy

When you’re distraught

To see you happy

I’d pay the price

I’d even give up

My last slice

I’d give you my last

Penny or dime

Write a poem

And make it rhyme

Would bake for you

A carrot cake

Ride a raft

Across a lake

Would follow you

Into the sea

Give everything

You ask of me

For you I’d do most

Anything

To have you feel

The joy I’d bring

Though sometime

We must make a deal

For you to know

My hearts not steel

And whilst I often

Love to kneel

I still need more

I am, I feel

Lost connection

The screen blinks at me tiredly

as I check my phone for the last time tonight

No sign of your call,

your text,

your email

No sign of you

Yet you said you would return

Just one text

One call

One email

This was all it would have taken

To show me

To validate my feelings for you

Instead of me feeling a fool

Waiting for a sign

That never came

I thought we had a connection

I guess I was wrong

Wait….My reception has gone

My offering for this week’s Poetry 101 Rehab

Perchance to Dream

Tonight I cannot sit here
Imagining your tongue slipping into my ear
Feeling your slender fingers cup my breast
Leaving my chest on fire
Whilst you breathe deeply on my neck
Tasting the salt of my skin
with your teeth

Instead, tonight I must dream
To close my eyes and ears to the world
Inhale slumber as if it were my air
and clamber through the rocky depths
of replenishment, relaxation.
Tonight I must know sleep,

Yet part of me still hopes for that
chance encounter
in the bakery aisle
So I can tell you that almond croissants
are just as nice as chocolate ones
If shared with pleasant company.

Ramble of consciousness

Have you ever been lost?

Not lost as in geographically, not lost in a place, not physically lost….just lost.

Someplace that your mind takes you into a world of confusion, of disappointment of fear even. Lost in a time and space that youΒ  feel is not your own, not viable for what you need, and you are alone.
So alone and you can’t pin point why, or how or when you ever reached this point…you only know that you got here..

somehow.

And that now you can’t leave.

You might not actually be alone, you might not be scared, maybe you have come to accept the little hollow that is your own, come to terms with despondency, the lack of enthusiasm, lack of care. You might have just found yourself trekking along the path of least resistance, happily humming the solo theme tune. You might well even be humming it whilst walking alongside someone, but they are not really with you, you are not really there,

You are but a shell of something you once were, and could be. A dim light in a sea of shimmering morsels ready to be plucked one by one, ready for the taking. Yet you amble on, happy to breathe, happy to survive as long as you don’t have to feel. The numbness that courses through your veins anesthetising your soul and caging your desires, your passion, your worth.
Every now and then you might feel a peck, a small glimmer of being that gives you hope, makes you feel alive and ready to tear down the walls. Yet all too soon you are packed up again and ready to retract. To shut the doors on the world and carry on smiling that fake smile because that is what gets you through…that is the you that they adore.

The only one that they accept.

My beautiful picture

Modern Day Surrender

How frustrating it is.
After resisting such taunts
A whole day without you,
filling my thoughts.

Twenty four hours,
Without you inside me.
My mind in a scramble
it’s you, undeniably.

I banish your words,
Try clearly to think.
Yet the impact of you
Drives me to the brink.

As your name flashes up,
Right there in the list.
Try as I might
I just can’t resist.

Impulse takes over,
my resolve so weak.
You win and I lose.
So much for mystique

The text disappears
My pride has been thrown
Oh why did I ever,
Pick up that dam phone!

A gap in the market

Alone he sits, upon his bed

His weapon in his hand

Thinking about the things they said

And how to be a brand

Armed with his phone and snapchat app

His boxers pressed and tight

He found a niche to fill the gap

His solo pillow fight.